She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
