id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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