Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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