She said her name was "party"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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