Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize