omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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