HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize