SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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