that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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