Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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