Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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