jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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