as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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