i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
