??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
