6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
