how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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