we're blogging at a bar
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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