he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
