If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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