i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
