Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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