Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
