I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
