He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
