Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
