Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
