btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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