Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
