I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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