Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
