Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
