There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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