I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
