my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
