Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
