your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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