dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
