she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
