Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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