I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
