I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
