I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just gift wrapped bread.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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