Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
