Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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