drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
