is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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