just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
