At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
