May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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