I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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