Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
