Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
