I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize