The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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