so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
