ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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