he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
