I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
