just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize