Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
