i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
