Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
